I been asked quite a few times recently from social media followers, friends and others how I am succeeding in following my dreams and making it a successful thriving business.
First off, I was hugely touched and honoured by such compliments and I have probably taken it for granted, I get into my creative flow, get my head down and sometimes forget to stop and take stock of what other people see from the outside when they see my business and life which is totally out there on social media.
Before Christmas I was stopped at various events by people who would show relief when they would see me “cheating” on a cheeky chocolate brownie or sneaking a sweetie at a birthday party!! This really got me thinking about the power of social media and what people see. I am healthy and careful there is no question about that, but I go through periods when all I want to eat is junk, I have moments when I am not inspired to cook or eat healthily and I really have to battle with myself to get back on track. What can I say, I am human and yes it happens to us all.
Its all relevant you see as I have learnt that these bumps in the road (the moments that we go off track from our healthy habits) are part of the process of life, it’s not all plain sailing and perfect like it can sometimes seem from all the pretty pictures we see on social media. I think social media can be the most wonderful tool for sharing motivating messages, creating a wave of positivity and inspiration and that is my goal when I am posting something. I don’t post for for fun, if I am not inspired I don’t bother as I can’t fake it. However it can also have reverse effects by creating an illusion of life, a picture of perfection an unrealistic expectation for all those who are looking from the outside. There has to be balance, and that is what every problem and situation comes down to balance – balanced diet not extreme diet – eating food in accordance of your body and what you like not what you THINK you should eat or what someone else is telling you to eat!! Balanced exercise – moving your body with a smile, feeling motivated to exercise, feeling energised and happy after you work out not as if it is a chore or in dread. Working hard to reach your goals in a job that fulfils your creativity and passions but also finding time to laugh, relax and stay in your PJ’s watching movies all day eating popcorn!!
Don’t worry if you haven’t found your passion yet, it can take time, it took me 30 years of faffing around until my passion found me!!! – Have Faith, it will come.
I lived with the illusion of perfection for such a long time before realising how damaging it is. Today – I am perfectly un-perfect in every way!! I sometimes deliberately go out with messy hair or a smudge of make up which I don’t fix or clothes that don’t quite match as this is a little rebellion against the perfection and I LOVE it!!!
It has taken a lot of work and soul searching to reach this calmer, more balanced state of mind but it is possible for everyone, I am not special or different in anyway than anyone else out there. I know this for fact as I have experienced such moments of weakness and darkness which I didn’t think I would ever get out of but I did and I came out shining brighter than ever.
I bet you are thinking – if only it were that easy? So I will share with you the methods that have worked for me in all areas of my life including my dream job……
EVERY DAY I make the commitment to myself to show up for whatever life throws at me and simply DO MY BEST and I live by this by this every day.
I don’t allow myself think I should have done better or I wish I had done this or that, only that I did my best and my best is good enough for that moment!
In all honesty sometimes my best is a pretty fairly pathetic attempt but instead of beating myself up about it, I look at what is else is going on in my day/week/life and put my best into perspective. With this comes compassion for myself as when I look at what else my body/mind/soul is coping with on a physical/mental/emotional level I realise that I have done as much as I am capable with at that given time. I know that it will pass and instead of fighting it, I sit with it, make friends with it and wait for it to pass and return to normality… What we resist will persist – what we befriend will end.
Now there is one one thing that may stand in your way of achieving this relationship with yourself and that is your ego. If you haven’t formally met your ego yet then let me introduce you. Your ego (or bad fairy as I like to refer to it) is the negative chatter in your head. It is the nagging voice that pops into your head when you are feeling really good about yourself and then bursts your bubble. Its the voice that tells you are fat when you have been working out and eating really well, the voice that tells says you should be skinner, prettier and funnier. Its the voice saying you are not good enough for the promotion, or that you will never find love or happiness……
Have you met your ego yet? Can you identify in some way with these negative murmurs?
The ego works by keeping us living in fear, fear of ourselves, fear of being wrong, fear of allowing anything other that the ego IN to our internal world. The ego stops you moving forward, stops you achieving your dreams, turns the light out and keeps you in the dark. The ego makes you always right, doesn’t take responsibility and prevents your life lessons, growth and personal development.
When I started this post my ego was fully ready for a fight with me. I felt that all the touching and inspiring messages I have received recently deserved a reply, however my bad fairy put up resistance such as… You are not good enough to write about success, you will never be successful, you are not good enough, you don’t know enough……. blah blah blah….
As I referred to earlier in this post every day I am working with challenges, I now know there is no finish line in life but with awareness and commitment you can take a smoother path down the mountain rather than the bumpy track!
You may wonder how you “fight” your ego, are you having a mental picture of yourself having a fisty fight with an imaginary person!! Or is your ego telling you this is all a bag of bull?
If it is telling you this is all bull then this is your first opportunity to fight it. You do this by challenging the thought and changing it. Mentally saying NO, making the conscious choice not to believe any bad thoughts and replace them with a good and positive thought. It can take time and you may find times when you are struggling with positive thoughts. In which case FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. Even if you don’t believe the positive thoughts, just keep persisting with them until eventually they take over and you believe them with confidence.
Keep showing up, keep practicing, keep doing your best and you CAN and WILL take control, when you do you will feel lighter, happier and more in control of your life. You will feel as if your wildest dreams aren’t so wild probably will come true.
What is your wildest dream? Write it down, see it in black and white and know that you can achieve it too
Take a few moments to see yourself living out your wildest dreams in your minds eye? What does it look like? What does it feel like? Can you see it within your reach yet?
I have referred to the ego in my post as a negative and dark energy. The light on the other hand is the total opposite to the ego. It is our path to happiness if we choose it and allow it in to guide us. It is that knowing that there is something out there greater than our eyes can physically see, a power bigger than anything man has ever made.
It is the universe and if you trust it, the universe will always have your back, it will always work for your highest good. There will be moments when you don’t believe it and you feel it has let you down, however if you have faith and give it a fighting chance then you will see that things always work out for your best interest.
Whenever I am feeling deflated and on the verge of giving up something will happen that totally restores my faith in myself and the universe, they are like little signs exactly when I need them, moments of unexplained beautiful synchronicities.
I don’t have a big master plan or bullet points of action. I don’t follow trend or write about something that doesn’t inspire me and I don’t do anything that doesn’t light me up. I try to follow my intuition, my passions while keeping tabs on reality. Some days I feel like I haven’t got a clue what I am doing or where I am going with this then other days I have a clear vision of what I want to achieve. Sometimes an idea I thought would be amazing turns out to be the worst ever! It is a crazy rollercoaster of a journey, I don’t have the answers but I have learnt through practice to buckle up, embrace the journey and see what comes next!!
My self care practices to tune into my highest good…
When I have a problem that seems unfixable beyond my capabilities I surrender it over to the universe – after all it is the greatest power out there so if anything can fix it – the universe is the one!!
I was brought up with a Muslim Father and a Church of England Mother – so religion was not something that I had in my early years in any solid form. My mum was always very spiritual (there were moments when I thought I was adopted, now I know where I get it from and I think she is SO amazing) my father had very strict views and opinions which never really aligned with anything I believed in enough to have faith or belief in.
When I moved to Monaco I felt so lost and lonely and would read books to help me find whatever I thought I had lost. I kept reading about praying which I always brushed off as I didn’t believe it was something I could do, after all, I was not a religious person. I had gone through 30 years of life without saying a single prayer, surely I couldn’t start now, and if I did I would have 30 years to make up for, then I wouldn’t get any help until I was at least 60 – not a very motivating thought!!
Funnily enough after a string a bizarre events which all came together through synchronicity a couple of years back. I was in a book store very last minute in New York with 5 minutes to spare before my taxi to the airport. As I was leaving the store a book literally leapt off the shelf into my hands, it was called “The Only Prayer You Need” – You do not get a clearer message than that!!! I couldn’t put the book down, my bad fairy was shouting, you don’t pray put that stupid book down but I couldn’t and I didn’t.
And so I started to Pray! Small prayers and big prayers, for me, my family, my business, for people who are suffering, sad, lonely, for the world. It is now part of my life and every day I add a little prayer when I am finishing up my morning mediation and before I go to bed. They are all super quick and easy, sometimes as simple as… Please heal my fear based thoughts (which comes from the book)
I don’t know the rules of praying, as I said I am an amateur at this, however as I have said numerous times before… Show up and practice… Every day
Listen to yourself… you have all the answers!!! Your intuition knows the way to a happier healthy life. Sometimes we are too busy to hear it or fearful. Sometimes the ego shows up and is too noisy and naughty. Stop, listen and be guided.
Meditation is the perfect time to give yourself the space for your intuition to speak to you.
I was so out of balance for such a long time that when I started to connect on all levels I literally felt as if someone had switched on the lights, I felt alive beyond anything I had ever experienced before. It was the most incredible feeling to know that I had this in me all along.
Learn to connect on a mental, emotional and physical level
Mental – I do this through meditation and mindfulness
Emotional – through recognising emotional trigger points and trauma then working through them to find compassion and understanding.
Physical – through movement, walking and yoga really help me. These benefit me more than high impact stuff as I love the pace that allows me to feel all the muscles and fibres of my body connecting together to move in the most amazing harmony, it’s like every single part of my body is switched on and awake working together.
Connect with others – Through smiling at strangers, helping others, looking people in the eyes when speaking to them
My non-negotiable morning routine consists of waking at 6am for 20 minutes of meditation followed by 15 minutes of yoga… I am then ready to take on the day. I have connected to myself on all levels and checked in with myself, visualised my day, practiced gratitude and prayed… then I wait and see what the day brings for me.
Every day I practice gratitude in the smallest things and take the time to thank people for things they are doing for me.
I can not deny that I work my ass off with my business and I put in the graft – every day I show up and put my heart and soul into it because I want it to be a success. I want people to feel good about themselves. My motivation and inspiration for this is my experience of sadness, loneliness, illness, helplessness and wishing that there was someone who would just help me find a way out. Through my work I want to helps others out of places they aren’t happy with, whether its feeling overweight, not good enough, unhealthy emotionally or physically. Even the smallest problems or issues can grow into mountains if you are alone and unsupported in the world (the ego will take any opportunity to use this against you!)
I want to help people tap into the deepest parts of themselves and find their true calling, peace, health, happiness or whatever their heart and soul is calling out for. I know it sounds cheesy and as I write this I am thinking I can’t put this out there for the world to see but the words for this whole post have literally just flowed… so I have surrendered, had faith in myself and the universe that this is what was meant to be seen today…….
Please share with me your story….. Either below or by contacting me
With LOVE and RADIANT health